Fired To Inspired: Rejection as Motivation

Getting fired can feel like public failure, private grief, and a full-body identity crisis all at once. I know that kind of rupture, and that’s why this conversation lands so deeply. In this episode, Merry Korn, founder of Pearl Interactive Network, talks about how a career collapse can become the moment you finally stop shrinking and start building a life that fits who you are. We don’t treat reinvention like a motivational poster. We name the humiliation, the fear about money, and the way rejection can hit old wounds you didn’t even realize were still tender. 

Merry shares the flashbulb moment that changed everything: taking a job that felt wrong from day one and then being fired just two months later as a single mom. From there, she walks us through the practical method that created real momentum when she had no bandwidth to “wait and see” for the right opportunity. The centerpiece is informational interviews, a structured way to gather clarity, build relationships, and turn uncertainty into a plan. If you’re stuck in career stagnation, burned out, or quietly unengaged, this approach is actionable and repeatable. 

We also go deeper into resilience, trauma, and the surprising ways the past can live in the present. We talk epigenetics in plain language, inherited stress responses, and Merry’s family history connected to Holocaust survival. That thread connects directly to her mission-driven business: a for-profit social enterprise that prioritizes hiring people with the greatest barriers to work, including disabled veterans and people with disabilities. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

You can find Merry HERE

https://firedtoinspired.com/

Books mentioned in this episode: 

The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

Transcript

A Career Ends And A New Start

Merry 0:00

I do know that when you create a safe haven for people with barriers to work, you give people who are most disenfranchised a reason to get up every day in addition to financial sustenance. And that were completely aligned with my heart and my soul. And none of that would have happened if I hadn't had the gift of being fired.

Mary 0:23

For centuries, the phrase shrinking violet was used to diminish women, to suggest we were meant to be small and meek. But in nature, violets are anything but weak. They're resilient, beautiful, and essential to the ecosystem. Hi, I'm Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist, and each week I sit down with women who remind us that being compared to a violet isn't an insult. It's a testament to strength, endurance, and the power of taking up space and living by your true nature. If you're ready to stop shrinking and start thriving, you're in the right place. Hey Violets, welcome to the show. November 2025 was one of the most pivotal times in my life. It was the beginning of the end of my career as I knew it. The feeling of crisis I had was more intense than anything I had experienced to that point, including a divorce and both my parents dying. I'm not going out on a limb when I say I was really good at my job. I had exceptional annual reviews, positive feedback from students, and connections with colleagues that were both personally warm and professionally impactful. Yet by June of the following year, I no longer had my career. Staff changes the previous year brought on a marked change in the culture. A workplace that was once warm and supportive felt unsteady at best and dangerous at worst. I had been there eight years, so my body understood the change before my mind could accept the new reality. I tried to find solutions, including blaming myself and working harder, as we often do, but really it was an emotional scramble to find my footing on an actively eroding foundation. And while it was my decision to leave this job that I loved, that I had worked toward for over 30 years, it was still devastating. Because many people knew exactly what was happening, but no one with any power did a thing to help. I just knew I needed to leave to preserve my emotional health. I was gaslit, and truly I don't love that overused word, and I don't use it lightly. I was lied to nearly every day, and I was also mobbed, a specific term for relational aggression. I had never before or since experienced anything like it. The aftermath felt like coming out of the storm cellar after a tornado and simply looking around at the remnants of my professional identity, bits and pieces strewn about, unrecognizable to me. I was, quite simply, lost. How I picked up those pieces to reassemble them into something new is a story for another day. I can tell you that I believe we sometimes need a huge natural disaster to clear the deck, so we have nothing left to lose and we can find ourselves in a new way. Like prairie fires that burn hundreds of acres to allow buried seeds to germinate and grow into something new and beautiful.

Merry Korn’s Flashbulb Moment

Mary 3:16

My guest today knows a bit about reinvention after a professional devastation. Mary Korn is the visionary founder of Pearl Interactive Network, one of the world's most successful for-profit social enterprise firms. After 20 years of pioneering innovation and social entrepreneurship, Mary now shares her expertise through nationally recognized content, speaking engagements, and advisory services for business owners and those ready to break free from career stagnation. Welcome to No Shrinking Violets, Mary.

Merry 3:48

Thank you. It's an honor and a joy. And I've been so excited to meet you because I've read about you, I've watched your YouTubes, and there's just so much synergy between us.

Mary 3:58

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think we have a lot to talk about. So I always start with asking my guests to talk about flashbulb moments. And so I think for you, there's a huge one. So a flashbulb moment is like something when you look back over your life, it's like a flash went off and it's captured, and you realize that was a moment that changed the trajectory of my life. So sometimes they're little things from childhood, sometimes they're huge things. So I know one for you is when you lost your job, it sent you into this direction. So can you talk about that and maybe anything else you feel like led you to the journey that you're on right now?

Merry 4:40

Yes.

unknown 4:42

Okay.

Merry 4:43

So I took a job working for a religious uh continuing care retirement community. And for listeners that are not familiar, I know that there's a new term for this, but it's a community that starts with independent living and progresses to skilled uh nursing care. And I took the job, and from day one, every flashing red light went off telling me I had made a horrible, terrific decision. But I thought, no, no, no, I'm gonna gut this out till retirement because this is what I want to do. I just want the stability of a regular paycheck. Two months into it, I was fired uh with the CEO and the his attorney at his side. And the the ground caved underneath my feet. I was completely lost, and unlike you, because you had been in an environment where you were integrated into the fabric of this uh work family, so to speak, and multiple relationships. I had only been on the job two months and been fired, and it was traumatic, it was terrifying. I was a single mom with two kids, completely lost. Um, Mary, I I like to research everyone I talked to. And when I researched you, uh throughout most of your life or almost all of your professional life, you've been a therapist and providing the same service. Uh, unlike you, who you've always known the general thread of the work you wanted to do. For 46 years, I really struggled with who am I? What am I meant to do? And always feeling like I was wearing shoes on the wrong feet. So when you take a job that's not aligned with your heart and your soul, it's like getting in an elevator and not knowing what floor to get off. So I took this job for all the wrong reasons, but it was a life-changing event that eventually led to founding a for-profit social enterprise that gave hiring priority to people with the greatest barriers to work.

From Firing To First Big Leap

Merry 7:10

So, what felt like the absolute worst time in my life turned out to be an absolute godsend because I ended up doing work completely aligned with my purpose and my mission.

Mary 7:25

And these are the stories I love because you can say, well, the story ended at the chapter when you lost your job, because a lot of people they get stuck on that trauma, on that thing. And it's hard to imagine, especially when we think about your parenting at the same time, that you're trying to pull all of this together. And it's not like you just said, I'm updating my resume and I'm gonna put it out there again. You built something. So the first question that occurred to me is do you think you always sort of knew, but you didn't have maybe the bravery, or you know, like I said in my intro, sometimes when we lose everything we think we know, then that clears space. Do you think you always knew, or are you truly needing this to figure it out?

Merry 8:13

Oh, that's such a fantastic question. Um so, Mary, for you for for most of my professional life, I was confused about what am I here for? And I actually saw a career coach, and the career coach told me that based on extensive tests I had taken, that I was meant to lead a social enterprise that combined my love of social work and social mission and profits. But I had no clue how to get there. So I just kind of sat on that thinking, okay, I know I want to do it, but I don't know how to get there. When I lost my job, I was so burned out on working for other people. And uh when you talk about how you felt gaslit after your experience, I mean, trust was a major issue of I I really didn't want to work for anyone anymore.

unknown 9:13

Yeah.

Merry 9:14

So I took this big bold leap of starting a business, not even knowing what it was. But I was just so tired of working for for people who could hurt me. Yeah. So I always knew I wanted to run a for-profit social enterprise. Getting fired forced me to figure it out. Yeah.

Fear, Shame, And Action That Works

Mary 9:35

So I do want to talk about how you did that and why you chose this. But first, when this kind of thing happens, something happens to you. When you get fired, it's very much a sense of powerlessness, I'm guessing.

Merry 9:48

So how did you rejection?

Mary 9:51

Yes. Yeah, rejection, powerlessness. So, and you mentioned fear in something I read or another podcast. Of course, you're afraid, right? What's gonna happen because you need we need money to live. So, can you talk first about emotionally and mentally? How did you pull together that um sense of power to like go into this new direction? What was that like? What were the pitfalls? What were the biggest challenges? And how do you think you got through that?

Merry 10:23

We could spend days on this, but for the sake of time, one other emotion I want to share with you, and you might this might resonate fear, humiliation, rejection. Um, and to deepen this as a therapist, you know a whole lot of who we are is our childhood. And I talk about this a little bit in my book, but I'd been in two orphanages. So the uh firing wasn't just about being fired by one person, it was this uh deep resonant rejection. Um yet um we talked about how generational trauma could do one of two things, like the dandelion, it could be build resilience, or it could cause the dandelion to falter and and never thrive. So my mother, who escaped uh a concentration, a car, a cattle car destined to a death camp, jumped off that train, uh surrounded by SS guards with guns. And during the death march, she escaped, which easily could have led to being shot to death. So her resilience runs in my blood. So giving up is just not the fiber who I'm made of. But I had two children dependent on me, and no was not an option, staying in bed was not an option, and I just decided I'm gonna put on blinders. Uh, action overcomes fear. And I made the decision of waiting for the right job to post was not going to come along, especially because I didn't want to work for anyone. That I was gonna do what's called informational interviews, which by the way is in my book, and informational interviews are strategic strategic and structured conversations that you have with people to get information about how to move on with your life. And I treated that as my new job. I scheduled four to six informational interviews a minimum a week to have conversations with CEOs of medical associations to talk about how I could leverage my skills and my talents in healthcare, marketing, and sales to recreate myself. And when you're so focused on action, it's hard to hold two emotions at the same time: absolute fear and this goal-oriented behavior of you you have to commit to getting four appointments today. So one thing that helped me overcome fear is absolute laser focused on accomplishing goals.

Mary 13:23

Yeah. And that's so true. That momentum, it creates more momentum. Yes. And what I love about that, Mary, is that you looked outside of yourself for information that I don't think we often do that, or if we consider it, I think we discount it because we're like, where they're gonna think I'm weird, or you know, what is it gonna be like to outreach cold to these people? And I think that is a great way to get information because you needed information.

Merry 13:53

I needed information and I needed to talk to people to tell me who I needed to talk to. And by the way, I started off with a very warm list of people I knew. And that warm list gave me people they knew. So it I eventually did go on to a cold list, but that warm list was absolutely invaluable.

Epigenetics And Inherited Resilience

Mary 14:15

Yeah, that's a great way to do it. So I want to circle back quickly because you mentioned dandelion. So for everyone listening, Mary and I had a little chat before I hit record and we were talking about the idea of epigenetics. And so epigenetics is the idea that when a relative, so parent, grandparent, has a traumatic event, it can affect how our DNA is expressed. So it does not physically change our DNA, but if you think about a textbook, and when you want to remember certain parts of it, you highlight it. And so in epigenetics, it's kind of like DNA is highlighted. So certain things will be expressed more potentially in one person based on the experiences, typically trauma, of a parent or a grandparent. And so in my book, I talk about how dandelions can thrive in one environment because their seeds are offspring of something that maybe grew in drought. And so their epigenetics help them thrive in drought. Maybe another one was raised in a lush environment, and so they don't have that same marker on their DNA. So Mary and I were talking about this because of her parents' experience, those um traumas, and they've done specific research on people that have experienced the Holocaust, um, that there are things they can see on the DNA or the expression of DNA in future generations. So we had a really interesting quick conversation before we hit record. But Mary, it sounds like you really believe that in your case, those experiences didn't kind of hobble you or um limit you, but they've they've added resilience for you.

Merry 16:10

Yes. And Mary, the irony is my sister is the exact opposite. What caused me to have the genetics to thrive, on the other hand, uh, arrested her development very early.

Mary 16:25

Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's something where I'm certainly not an expert, but I think sometimes we can wonder if we know, like our parent or grandparent went through something, and we can maybe have a reaction or struggle, or like you said, be resilient in certain areas. And we it can be like, well, how could that possibly affect me? And it does. It's this really fascinating expression of our genes, not a change in them, but how they're expressed. So I think for you, knowing that there was this horrific thing that happened with your mom, and was it your dad too? Yeah. Wow. Wow. So you got the double whammy. And you know, so I think sometimes that can be like, well, that's why I am the way I am, if it's something that can be holding us back. But I think it's important to understand it. And for you, it fueled this desire and this motivation to create the thing you wanted to create. Yes, totally.

Creating Jobs For People Shut Out

Mary 17:32

So what made you choose what you did? The talk a little about what you created and why.

Merry 17:40

So I created a for-profit social enterprise that gave hiring priority to people with the greatest barriers to work. Disabled veterans were primary, people with disabilities, people living in the most economically challenged parts of the country. And what inspired me, believe it or not, was my mother's journey of uh my mother's journey of uh Jews and targeted groups, were the focus of the government to destroy. And one way you can save them is, and then the other inspiration is Schindler, Oscar Schindler. Oscar Schindler, who, if anyone has seen the movie Schindler's List, is an example of someone who created jobs to save lives. I would never be so verbose as to say I've saved lives, but I do know that when you create a safe haven for people with barriers to work, you give people who are most disenfranchised a reason to get up every day in addition to financial sustenance. And that were completely aligned with my heart and my soul. And none of that would have happened if I hadn't had the gift of being fired.

Mary 19:02

Yeah, it's it's amazing. It's amazing how often I hear these stories, but there was also that sense for you that you could do it, that you somehow were going to make this happen. Did you have take some time initially after you were fired? Did you have to lick your wounds for a little bit? Did you have some of that sort of poor me? Because I think that would be very typical.

Merry 19:27

I did, but I couldn't afford those feelings. I mean, when I had two daughters getting ready to college, I could have luxuriated in I I guess that's not the word. I could have just given in to not getting out of bed at with humiliation, loss, and grief and shame. But I couldn't afford it. I had to pay the bills. No is not an option. Not getting out of bed and not doing everything I could to support my kids. There was just no other option.

Parenting Through Upheaval And Purpose

Mary 20:02

So, what was that like to be a mom for them to know? I'm guessing they knew what happened. How did you decide how you were going to navigate that with them? Do you were you honest? Did you have conversations? Because I think when you mentioned having daughters, I think the example of the mother is so powerful for young women to see like, how did my mom navigate this thing? What was that like?

Merry 20:28

Well, my oldest daughter is a huge throwing fashion business based in New York. And I think she's a much better businesswoman, much younger and early woman than I am. But I I think that what she saw is kind of what she's created in her life. Um, the other one, I mean, they both have been raised to follow your passion, but have a mind for business.

Mary 20:56

Yeah.

Merry 20:58

Uh so they're both self-sustaining people who are really joyous in their work. Yeah. Really joyous in their work. They are not lost. They know what their passions are.

Mary 21:13

And that is a big, I think, challenge sometimes that either we're not sure. Yes. Or we feel like what we want to do, because you mentioned your daughter in fashion, sometimes there can be this idea of, well, that's frivolous, or how can I make money at that? But you're bringing in like your passion, plus let's have some knowledge, let's have some business knowledge because that part of it is rational and important too.

Merry 21:44

Yes, because the three, the three things that incapacitated me up until I was fired is fear of being stuck because I didn't know for sure what I was supposed to do. The second one is not really. Clearing my understanding my life purpose, and the third one is okay, I find my life purpose, what do I do next? So, my those are the three main pillars of the book I wrote, which is how to embrace courage, how to find your life purpose. And once you find your life purpose, what are tactical things you can do to get from knowing life purpose to living it? And Mary, you're one of a few who very early on knew your life purpose, which is to coach and support people on their internal journeys.

Mary 22:36

Oh, yeah. I think often how I was very lucky. And I think that's why it was so devastating for me to have to needed to need to leave that. And it was also humbling because I'm a therapist, but so much was happening, like I was out of my depth. And so that was a reinvention too. So that's what I mean. Like I wouldn't have been knocked loose from that, I would have just retired from that. And then what? But I've gotten to do so many things. And so I think that reframe is really important that when something happens, it doesn't mean it's the end. I mean, look at what was going on with your mom. And she fought and fought to to try to find freedom. So there isn't something you mentioned, and

Orphanage Trauma And Rejection Echoes

Mary 23:24

I'm curious. So I'm thinking if I'm curious, listeners are curious. You talked about an orphanage. How did can you tell me how did you end up there? What was what's that story?

Merry 23:34

Um I was in two orphanages, one from birth till the age of two, and the second one was from two to four, one in Germany, and the other here. And I remember here in Pittsburgh, and I remember that one vividly. And Mary, even now when I watch the movie Annie or the play, I sob because the room that the action takes when she's with the other orphans, it looked just like the room that I had, except my room was empty. It had 12, uh 11 empty beds. Wow. So a lot of trauma trauma in my life, but as we talked about, you can do two things with trauma. You can use it as an excuse and have it define you, or you could refuse to.

Mary 24:29

Yeah. Well, the other important thing that I think you mentioned is you could hear the echo of that rejection from childhood in this experience that happened later. And I think sometimes that can be what incapacitates us. It's like, why is this such a strong reaction of whatever hurt, rejection? You know, but there's typically a thread you can pull from to understand it from the past. And you were able to do that.

Merry 25:00

Yeah, totally.

Mary 25:02

Yeah. And I think having that understanding, you know, we say in in therapy, insight does not equal change, but I think sometimes when you have the insight, that can give you the knowledge to know, okay, this feels so strong, not because I'm going to be defeated by it, but because I this other thing happened. And it this is like an echo of that same feeling of rejection.

Merry 25:26

Yes. You know, Mary, you and I are both uh, I think I shared with you, I'm trained as a um a clinical social worker. We both embedded in our training, we know that early childhood has everything to do with who we are and what forms us, or doesn't form us.

Mary 25:46

Yeah. So you mentioned

Fired To Inspired Book And Next Steps

Mary 25:48

your book. I did not give the title of that in my intro. So tell us a little about what your book is called and is it already published, and give give us a few highlights.

Merry 25:58

Sure. The book is called Fired to Inspired. Uh it's uh in the process of finally being printed, so it should be out within the next four weeks. And the book has three free workbooks on my site, which is fired toinspired.com. Uh, one workbook is on embracing courage, the other is finding your life purpose, and the third one is the holy grail of informational interviews. Um, these are free. And uh the the these are the three pillars of the book is you've been fired or you need to get fired. Uh, and that's the thing, Mary, is when I did research, Gallup found that over 69% of people feel unengaged in their life's work. That's a lot of people that go through the emotions of quiet desperation because they don't know how to get unstuck. And so my book is for people who've been fired or people who need to fire themselves. And in the book, I have a series of stories of people who fired themselves or were fired. When I was fired, there were very few books on this topic.

Mary 27:09

Oh, I'm sure. And, you know, I think that idea of being fired, you alluded to this. There's so much shame from it. Yes. And, you know, one of the things that occurs to me with not only being fired, but also not being hired, you know, you go through a hiring process and you're not chosen. Those people simply have an opinion. And so we can think this is an indictment of my ability. I don't have ability, I'm not good at anything. If those things happen, but it's really about how you're framing it. And you framed it as okay, here's finally this opportunity not only to gather information to do what, to find what I want and to do what I want, but you can do it, you can move forward in that way.

Speaker 2 27:57

Yes.

Mary 27:58

So one thing I'm curious about because I love bibliotherapy, I love recommending books, I love reading books to learn. So when you talk about firing yourself and you're talking about purpose, what about if somebody's like, well, career-wise, whatever, but in my overall life, I'm not sure what my purpose is. Is it applicable for anyone that really is trying to figure out their path?

Merry 28:24

Completely. Absolutely. And uh the book was written with deep research into a multitude of books that were really helpful on my journey. And if we have time, I could mention two or three of them. Sure. That were very helpful. Uh, one of them is called The Artist's Way by Jules Cameron. Okay. Have you have you encountered her?

Mary 28:46

You know, this is so funny, and it's going to bring up sort of something we've been alluding to. I was told to, it's sort of like a you read it, but you do it, right? It's an experiential book. And I've been told to do this more than once. It has been coming up in conversations so much, so often, and now you just brought it up. So that I think is the world saying to me, you need to do this, you need to read this. So, okay, the artist's way, I have definitely heard of it.

Merry 29:15

Uh, and by the way, I too did the same thing. My book is completely experiential, where I'm constantly probing the reader chapter by chapter to mark what I've shared and how that resonates with them personally. So, this is the divine whisper speaking to you. I'm just saying. Okay. But that book, uh, the there are two huge takeaways from that book. One of them is she believes in what's called morning pages. So you get up every single morning and you write by hand all of your feelings good, bad, anger, rage, what everything that happened in that day, and she suggests you don't read it for six to eight weeks. And you don't read it, you just do free-flow thoughts, and then she suggests you read it at the end of six to eight weeks and look at recurring threats. Okay. The the other big takeaway is who are you jealous of? Because if you look at people who you are jealous of, that tells you what you really want to be doing. If there is somebody who's well published and speaking all over that place, that could be an indication of what's really yearning and tugging your heart. Totally makes sense. Um the other book, I'll I'll just mention two, but uh in my book, I have a plethora of books I recommend is um uh The Power of Now by Ecurto Lei. Uh, because people have been fired or who fire themselves are so immersed in what's happened. So the past has happened, nobody knows what the future will be. And his whole premise is brief because only this moment's real.

Mary 31:09

Yeah.

Merry 31:09

And the Buddhists say that when you die, you die in that moment. You don't die in the future, you don't die in the past. But so many books were like uh little nuggets of gold on my path of figuring out who I'm supposed to be and what the work I was meant to do.

Mary 31:28

Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that because I think that's another way to get momentum if you're not sure what direction. Don't try to figure out the right book to read. Just pick up a book that you're moved to read, start there, and you know, you'll get to the next one. And I think the fact that you give people resources if they want to do more reading or learn more, I think that's great. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, Mary, this has been a great conversation. I so appreciate you being here. Can you? I will link all your information by the way in the show notes. Can you tell people where to find you and how you beyond your book coming out, how you can help them?

Merry 32:09

Yes. My website is fired to inspired.com. And they could communicate with me either on there or they could uh communicate with me on my LinkedIn, which is simply Merry Korn, and that's M-E-R-R-Y-K-O-R-N. Okay, sounds good.

Mary 32:30

Thank you again for being here.

Merry 32:33

Mary, I was so looking forward to talking to you because I was reading about your background thinking, wow, this is a kindred spirit. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Absolutely.

Mary 32:44

And I want to thank everyone for listening. If you found value in this episode, please consider supporting the show using the link in the show notes. Even a few dollars, because you probably know by now I have a puppy to train, as well as three elderly cats who are quite miffed at this new addition to the fam. So my furry kid treat fund has skyrocketed. And until next time, go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.