No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS.
Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more!
As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.
No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
Is Visualizing a Positive Outcome Effective?
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We talk through a simple shift that changes how we handle anxiety: stop mentally rehearsing the worst and start practicing success. We break down outcome visualization versus process visualization and show how vivid, step by step mental rehearsal can help you feel calmer and perform better.
• defining visualization as mental rehearsal
• noticing the default habit of worst case images
• why imagining failure increases anxiety through brain activation
• how athletes use sports psychology visualization for better results
• outcome visualization and making it sensory and vivid
• process visualization as the most effective approach
• practical walkthroughs for job interviews, first dates, raises, and exercise habits
• flipping the script from worry to prepared confidence
• a quick life update and a local coffee recommendation
I would love to hear your coffee favorites
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elcome And What Visualization Means
MaryHi, welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking Violets. I'm going to talk about visualization today. Visualization is seeing yourself doing something in your mind. Pretty simple, right? Well, I think often visualization for many people takes the form of imagining the worst. So if there's a situation that we are nervous about, it might be a first date, it might be asking for a raise or going to a job interview. It might be a holiday with the in-laws. Typically, when there's something that we're worried about, unfortunately, we're mostly worried because we think there could be a poor outcome. So we'll picture if it is asking for a raise, we might picture getting turned down, or we might focus on how nervous we're going to be and we're worried about that. If it's a first date, same thing. We might be thinking, I don't want to go to dinner. What if I have something in my teeth and I embarrass myself or I say something stupid or he or she doesn't like me? Um if it is, you know, a dinner with the in-laws or a holiday or hosting a party, we might imagine no one's going to have fun and it's going to be a flop. It can be any manner of things. So when you are worried about something, first pay attention to that. Are you imagining the worst outcome? The reason that imagining the worst thing creates anxiety is because when we picture doing something, it fires the same neurons as if we're actually going through the motions of it. And there's research that shows for athletes, because this comes from the idea really of sports psychology, that a lot of athletes that are successful, well, I would, I would contend any athlete that's successful will spend time picturing that success. That doesn't mean they can't train or they don't train, they certainly train physically. But research shows that if they also engage in visualization, in addition to their physical training, they have better outcomes. So for instance, if you are a baseball player or a softball player, you're gonna picture getting up to bat and being successful, getting a hit, or catching the ball when you're in the field. If you're a runner, you're going to picture being successful, crossing the finish line before other people. If it's basketball, you're gonna visualize the free throws, in addition to having to practice them. Gymnasts, they will go through the routine in their mind because again, their mind is focusing on the sequence of those motions, which helps when they are actually in the situation of doing the motion. So being able to see yourself doing something successfully is incredibly powerful. So we first want to be aware of those times when we're indulging in the things that we're most worried about, those times when we're just picturing being embarrassed or having an outcome to one of these situations in our lives. Maybe it's in our career, in our family, whatever. We're gonna we're picturing it by what is the worst thing that could happen. So that's the first thing. Be aware of that. And then there's two types of visualization. One is outcome visualization, the other is process visualization. So let me first talk about outcome. Outcome can be the easier one because whether we're picturing an abysmal ending to a first date, or we're picturing getting turned down for our quest for a raise at work, or conversely, we're thinking about giving a speech and we're and we see the end where people are clapping and they're smiling and we feel that relief. Or we are picturing getting the phone call where we're offered the promotion or we're offered the job. That is outcome. So it's important when you're trying to create a positive outcome that you see that. You want to be able to see that and think about what is it gonna feel like? Not just emotionally, but what is it gonna feel like physically? What are you gonna see and hear and taste and smell? All of those things are part of a vivid outcome visualization. Now, let me talk about process visualization because that is actually the more powerful. And they've done research on this. They've had people use outcome visualization, process visualization, and nothing. And of course, as you can imagine, not engaging in anything isn't gonna help. But they found that picturing the process of getting to success is the most impactful. So, for instance, if you want to go in and pitch yourself for a promotion, or there's a company that you really want to work for and you have an interview, um, maybe it is a first date, or maybe you're going into a situation that has been difficult in the past. Picture the steps of that. So let's first talk think about a job interview. So think about how are you gonna prepare for that? So you're going to picture yourself sitting down and thinking about all the accomplishments you've had, brushing up on that resume. You're going to picture how you're going to follow up. You're going to picture preparing for that interview. So while you should speak out loud and practice answering different questions, like, you know, do the whole um AI search or Google search. What are the 20 most challenging interview questions? Answer them. But also picture yourself answering them. And that's one of the cool things with using visualization. You don't have to be physically doing it to have an impact. You can be sitting on your couch and thinking, okay, I'm picturing myself sitting there and my shoulders are down and back. I'm relaxed. I'm answering these questions with a lot of confidence. At the end, I stand up and I shake someone's hand or I ask my own questions. If it's a first date, you picture yourself being relaxed, laughing, thinking about asking the other person some questions about themselves. All of these things are the process. So you want to be thinking about the steps leading to that success also. So if you want to ramp up your exercise or you want to actually start to exercise more, I think there's where that negative visualization comes in. We think, oh, it's I'm going to be so tired and I don't feel like changing my clothes. And, but if we instead you think about, okay, I'm going to put my sneakers on, I'm going to picture myself walking. And this is where we can prep early in the day. Get your mind visualizing that at three o'clock that day, or on your way home from work, or whatever you want your routine to be. Maybe it's you're going to picture yourself the night before, getting up and taking a walk first thing. Start to visualize yourself doing that. And what does the air feel like if you're going out for a walk? Um, what is the what's the parking lot at the gym look like? Where are you going to park? Um, how are you gonna walk in? What's the locker room look like? Like starting to think about all the steps in your process and picturing them in a positive way. What does it feel like, smell like, sound like, if taste is involved, if smell is involved, thinking of all those things so it becomes as vivid as possible for your neurons because then your brain thinks it's happening. And the really the end result of that, especially if it's a situation where you typically carry some anxiety with it, you're telling your brain, you know what, I think we're gonna be good. Um, we know what we're doing, we're gonna have a positive outcome. And you're showing your brain how it's going to accomplish that. So it's a pretty cool way when you're aware, it's a pretty cool way to flip the script, especially if you're stuck in that loop of picturing a bad outcome or you're worried and you're thinking, oh my gosh, here's all the things that are gonna happen or that could happen. Take a second, flip the script, and start to both picture your process being successful and your outcome being successful. So that is my musing for this week. And I want to thank those who tossed me a couple bucks to buy a coffee in my new city. We have been going there to do a lot of house prep. We're actually moving in about a week and a half. So far, our favorite coffee place, well, actually, I'm gonna say our only place that we have tried in the city because it's only a few blocks from where we're going to live, is Denham Coffee. And like the jeans, you know, Denham. There are locations not just in the county where we're going to move in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. And I know I have a lot of listeners from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, so I would love for you to weigh in if you are anywhere near York or anywhere near Lancaster County. I would love to hear your coffee favorites. But usually by the time we get to the house, I've already had a cup of coffee, so I get one of my beloved drinks, which is dirty chai. So I get an ice dirty chai at denim, and it is delicious. Their breakfast sandwiches are so simple and so good. We love them. So that has been our sustenance when we've had to go over there and do some housework in preparation for our move. So that is my report. That is my thought for the week. Practice that positive visualization. And until next time, go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.