No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS.
Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more!
As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.
No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
The Plant Theory of Self-Care: Finding Your Light-Shade Balance (Mini)
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Have you ever noticed how plants instinctively know what they need to thrive? Some flourish in bright sunlight while others would wither under the same conditions, preferring cool shade instead. What if we approached our own needs—particularly our social and emotional requirements—with the same clarity and acceptance?
Mary Rothwell dives into this powerful metaphor in this bite-sized episode, exploring how we can honor our authentic needs without the second-guessing that so often plagues us. Drawing wisdom from nature, she illuminates how women especially struggle to distinguish between what we truly need versus what we've been conditioned to believe is acceptable to want.
Just as no gardener would fault a plant for its light requirements, we shouldn't judge ourselves for our social energy needs. Some of us are naturally drawn to connection—thriving in the "sunlight" of relationships and shared experiences—while others require more "shade" and solitude to replenish. Neither preference is wrong; they simply reflect our essential nature. And like plants that respond to changing conditions, our needs may fluctuate from day to day or even hour to hour.
This mini-episode offers a refreshing perspective on self-understanding, encouraging you to pay attention to your true nature rather than forcing yourself to meet external expectations. Whether you're listening while walking the dog, sipping morning tea, or taking a quiet moment in your car, let this be your permission to honor what you authentically need. Text or comment with your thoughts using the link in the show notes, and remember to be the resilient, amazing, vibrant Violet that you are.
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Welcome to a no Shrinking Violets mini-episode. I'm Mary Rothwell and I've seen how often women are told, subtly or directly, to stay in their lane, to be agreeable, accommodating and stay small. But here's the truth you were never meant to live inside those guardrails, and I believe we know who we are and what we want inside. It just got covered up by others' expectations. So in these short episodes, I'll offer bite-sized reflections on the themes we explore in our longer conversations, things like sleep boundaries, nutrition, relationships and, yes, even what we can learn from nature. So, whether you're walking the dog, sipping your morning tea or taking a quiet moment in the car, this is your time to grow your mind and take up your space. So I want to talk today about honoring what you need, and I think, especially as women, this is very difficult for us, because we get lost between what do we think is okay to need and what do we truly need, and I think it actually is really confusing sometimes, because I think we've sort of been taught to second guess ourselves and we have so many social scripts that I think we don't even recognize are impacting us. So I'm going to give you a little tip about how to maybe put aside the worry about whether what you want is okay and give you a guideline from nature, of course, and of course, a guideline from nature, of course, and of course it's going to be plants. So whether you know plants or not, I think you probably do know that plants need light to grow. And if you have houseplants or if you are a gardener outside, you know that the amount of light a plant gets really matters. And some plants in my garden want full sun. They can take 10 hours of bright sunlight and I have a lot of shade. I live in woods, so we have a lot of trees, and there are just some plants that if they get too much sun, they don't like it. They will shrivel up. They try to conserve the moisture coming out of their leaves and if they get too much light, they can actually burn up and die.
Speaker 1:So when I plan my garden, or if you plan where you're going to put plants inside your house, you certainly take the light into account. Plan where you're going to put plants inside your house, you certainly take the light into account. So if we think of ourselves as needing a certain amount of light and I'm going to refer to that kind of like connection to other people. So if you're someone who needs a lot of sunlight, you like to be in the light, you like to connect to people, you lean into that. That can be different from somebody who likes things a little more cool and shady and maybe doesn't want to have quite so much light on them. They like things a little darker, a little cooler and to be separate from some of the other things growing around them. And neither of those things is wrong. I mean, I don't fault a plant if it is natured to grow better in sunlight or shade. I just put the plant where it's going to be the happiest.
Speaker 1:So when you're in a situation where maybe you committed to something, you thought, all right, I'm going to go to this party, or I'm told my friend I would meet them for coffee, and then, when that day comes, you're not feeling it. I think recognizing is this really part of who you are? Are you having a day where you just need a little more shade? Or are you having a time where you feel ready, you're going to walk out into that social situation and you feel okay about it? And I think recognizing first of all what is our essential nature Are you someone who doesn't really love to be in the heat of connection all the time, and you can think about that even in a work situation.
Speaker 1:There are some people that they go to work and I was one of these people.
Speaker 1:I loved connecting to my coworkers and I loved having a shared mission.
Speaker 1:And there are other people that will say I don't go to work to make friends and that's okay.
Speaker 1:I think that, however you want to interact with the world is okay.
Speaker 1:So being able to pay attention to those times when you feel like you need to be a little separate from the rest of the world, versus the times where you feel okay, leaning into things, going out and being around people, so thinking about yourself as just having a natural need maybe that day you want more shade and maybe that day you're okay with more sunlight.
Speaker 1:So starting to just recognize that we all have an essential nature and that can change. That need can change from day to day and sometimes from minute to minute. You might wake up in the morning and feel okay and and later in the day you might feel like, okay, I just need to kind of wind down and have some quiet and all of it's okay. Just pay attention to what your true essential nature is. So if you have any thoughts on that, I would love for you to comment, or you can text me at the link in the show notes. And until next time, go out and be the resilient, amazing, vibrant Violet that you are. Thanks for joining me on no Shrinking Violets Mini today, thank you.
